One of the things we must realize when we are leaders and teachers is that we are also always followers and students as well. To lose sight of this is to lose the ability to grow.
I have studied Wicca for over 15 years. I have a coven, I am a High Priestess in my own right.
This March, I became a neophyte again.
There is a strange discomfort that comes with opting to both be a neophyte and High Priestess at the same time. To simultaneously be responsible for my own education in one group, and responsible for the education of multiple others in another group. Becoming a neophyte means also undergoing change, cutting and clearing away that is unnecessary, and being pushed out of one’s comfort zone. It is not merely a return to basics, but it’s own process of rebirth.
I started in fairly decent health, stable job, and some pretty serious depression. Since the ceremony, I have spent one month hospitalized, my employment situation has experienced upheaval, as has my husband’s, and I’m pretty seriously NOT depressed. I still have some anxiety, but in some ways I feel that I have shaken off shackles, shackles of my own making.
If you’ve ever considered hitting the “restart” button on your practice, keep this in mind: it is not as simple as revisiting old topics. Your spirituality is intimately connected with your life–it may mean hitting “restart” on multiple areas as a collateral effect. Be sure you are ready, that you are stable and have support and resources to help you through the transition.
However, the benefits are well worth it. The sense of calling I have had from the Goddess, the need to serve the gods, the clarity of thought, ability to prioritize and appreciate the world more deeply, to feel reconnected to the energy again…these have been invaluable to me.
And to my lovely husband who has struggled with me every step of the way–words cannot express how much I love you. Thank you for supporting me and being my partner in all things.